Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Baboo]

Kirstin,

I would say to the neighbour: " ah the just the aftermarth stresses and tiredness off moving house... We will be fine thanks"

You dont have to be unwell in any way to know moving house is hard and exhausting- ive never experienced a house move with out seeing, hearing or being part of an argument 😛

lol

What did you end up saying?

[Tatsinda]

I had a pretty intense conversation with my 6yo today about how his dad's illness is affecting him. I asked him how he was finding things and he said not good and that he never gets enough time with dad and that dad is always angry. And then, he picked up some duplo blocks an said "I'll show you what it's like". He built a solid box shaped structure ad said that was what it was like before dad got sick. Then he started to break it all apart and said that was what things were like now, and finished with "and he's going to die soon!' (No blocks left at this point). Then he built a simple shop and said "it's like a shop that people oils go to any time they liked and then a meteorite came along and blasted it all away and now they can't go there any more, and they put a bit of it back together but they can only go there at certain times". I was amazed at his insight and could clearly see his sadness and sense of pain and lack of control over the situation. I did tell him that dad is working on "putting the blocks back together" and that we are aiming for h

[Tatsinda]

him to be well again.
And then hubby got annoyed about how he perceives that the 6yo makes his life difficult, and I tore into him a bit and pointed out that as the adult in the relationship, the onus is on him to improve things and that our poor boy is acting out because of all the crap he gets from dad. I hate having to have these discussions with him because I have to be the bad guy and it always risks putting him into a shame induced downward spin, but it's hard to let some things go thru to the keeper!! I think he did take it on board this time though thankfully.

[LadyLover62]

I have grown children now & wished I had reached out at the time of parenting. However, the above reply was perfect and I would think that the children would grow up being more aware than the average. Great reply

[windsor]

Hi tasinda, I hope this doesn seem to abrupt,but my experience was my ex wife's children ended up taking it out on her because they couldn't communicate with their dad

[Bubbles3]

hi everyone

i know this post is old 

but

i was wondering what people still think on this. 

i dont want my kids hating me because of my MI. what are you thoughts