Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Kazz1]

Yes you are correct and that is why I rang Sane and joined this forum. I do need guidance and advice and yes there have been issues going on for a lifetime but escalated in the last 7 months. As I am trying to stop enabling a bad situation things are quite explosive.

[Shaz51]

Hello and Hugs @Kazz1 , @ZHP , @Jo-anneJoy , @chibam 

how are you going today 

been thinking of you xoxo

[Kazz1]

Thanks so much for checking in I really appreciate that. I have been up and down emotionally, going from angry to sad that things have turned out how they are. I am trying to do things that are good for my wellbeing, my partner and I went for a bike ride on the rail trail which I always find helpful, I have been reading Phosphorescence by Julia Baird (about things to sustain you when the world goes dark), spending time in the garden, looking at mental health posts on Instagram which all help but I think I would actually benefit from talking with a counsellor, I spoke to one from SANE last week on the phone and that was helpful. Do you have any recomendations for who I should contact?

[Jo-anneJoy]

Hey @Kazz1  @Shaz51 

Been thinking about what your daughter said @Kazz1  that she needs a mother not a landlord. How do you interpret that because the boundaries became blurred when she moved into your property and entered into a tenant/landlord relationship.  If she wants you to be a parent then that's about life skills and responsible financial management..  In the stone motherless cold world, your daughter would have been served with a Notice of Possession and if she hadn't stepped up to organise a payment plan for rental arrears.  If that was the scenario, the young girls would be taken in by their father and that could lead to a variation on the shared-custody.

I reckon you need to be talking to a legal advisor who is experienced in these complicated family estate matters.  You would have heard from the dad of your granddaughters by now and gotten an update.  

Found a sweet youtube, lovely words - soothing, original song . (hope the link posts).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5M0X50pLZ8

[Kazz1]

Thanks and yes you are right I will look into that. Yes I have communicated with the Dad and he said the girls were good, he made sure they had a good weekend. He is home schooling them for the next 3 days, they go home to my daughter each night after he cooks them dinner and gets them to sleep before he leaves so my daughter can have her time off. He does that as he currently works early morning job so wouldn't be there for the girls all night. He is trying to  change that job and will then try you rearrange parenting agreement.

[Kazz1]

I listened to the song thanks is that for me or my daughter?

[Jo-anneJoy]

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@Kazz1 wrote:
I listened to the song thanks is that for me or my daughter?

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Neither, it's a musical interlude for everyone who is following this thread.  

[Shaz51]

@Kazz1 

 is there someone that your daughter talks too and confinds in??

something might be troubling her 

I remember the day , my step D1 said " I don`t need another Mum", this is the same step D1 who would sit with me and talk about anything 

I also have 3 stepsons , they are all adults now