Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Really like these with the hidden pictures in them - so clever. In this one, do you see the two women or the old man?

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Former-Member .... you will find some more cupcakes on this thread ..... 😊

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks for that @Zoe7 ..... it sounds lovely .... as always .... 🤗💕

I am moving this conversation to the art thread to keep it in context with the thread topic ... but maybe you would like us to paint one of the beach images I am about to post on F&A thread .... ?

Here's the thing though, going back to the painting issue .... D3 and I have been painting in a space in the garage, and WH is going to be asking us to pack it away by the end of the week guaranteed.

He wants to cook a lamb on the spit for Easter, which is really traditional and something they always did in the back yard when he was a kid. We've got an indoor / outdoor kitchen on the side of the house, and he wanted to npvook in there, but it makes a helluva mess and I kicked up about it. I don't have the energy for that sort of clean-up .... that energy belongs with my competition painting.

So .. he has borrowed an enclosed spit from a friend. That will have to go into the back yard. While he can access the back yard from the side of the house, he will want to access it through the garage and all the painting gear is in the way.

When we moved into the house we set up a studio for me up a ladder in the roof-space of the garage, and that's where he wants me to use, but storage of a whole heap of other stuff has ended up in that space as well .... anything that was in his way in the house he had the hissy gardener throw put up into that space, and I feel so claustrophobic in there now, I don't want to work there, and I don't want to be forced to work there ....

We have a small verandah near our bedroom, and for the competition painting I did last year, Iset up there, painting outdoors and under shelter. That has become my new painting space, but it's not really big enough to squeeze everything in if D3 wants to paint too .... and I am hoping to engage S2 again, and D2 paints as well, given the chance.

I wanted to use D1's old room, but WH won't hear of it, wanting to keep it as a spare bedroom, even though we have S1's old room for that, which is doubling as a family office for the kids and me .... except it's junked up as well, and a much tighter space. I have heard him mention my dad staying over in D1's old room, and his mum .... who lives 10mins away in her own house .... and I'm guessing his thoughts are for when she is too old to live on her own that she move in with us.

That's a whole other story !

At the moment I am trying to focus on completing the painting of the tree from down south, and then get onto this verandah and start on the competition painting in oils.  Send me the images for us to paint together though .... that might help me get into the other paintings so I can get to "our" image as a part of the line-up ....

💚💕

[Zoe7]

oh wow - what a position you are in - I'm surprised you can even paint at all @Faith-and-Hope  I can see that there is no solution with this one that will benefit you and the kids - so very hard to navigate your way around and have a suitable space for yourself. I really do feel for you!

I understand where you are coming from with WH and his mum (that was one of our late night conversations) and the issues that have contributed to your current situation - it is so very hard for you - I still do not know how you continually pull yourself up, look after everyone else and keep going - truly amazing and inspirational 

Ok - so now I need to find something really special for us to focus on down the track - an image that means something to both of us. This will require a bit more thinking on my behalf. I have an idea but will need to do a little more searching for just what I am looking for....

stay tuned.....

Sending you lots of love and huge hugs for today @Faith-and-Hope

Zoe 

[Faith-and-Hope]

The irony of it is that I had the perfect studio space in our previous home @Zoe7, and just didn't have the heart motivation to gear up and get painting like I have here .....

I had just lost my mother .... a teacher at school was giving D3 grief about her dialect for two years until it transferred naturally and made a fool out of all her vindictive carry-on, but instead of pulling back, she increased her bullying until we left the school. The admin of the school was facing another couple of scandals so she was getting away with this in the shadow of the other ..... then D2 was being treated shamefully at her school. MIL was living nearby and causing random issues, and the house was damaged twice by flooding to the point of pack-up and move out to restore the house ....

And this period of time peppered by renovations and extensions besides ..... now I can see that all of that was part of WH's OCD .... what is he doing in Greece at the mo ? Renovations and extensions ..... what head he been doing over east last year ? More of the same on a family property there .....

You understand what I mean when I say I need heart-space to be able to paint. Now I wish I had the previous studio ... but it was what it was, and it is what it is ....

Onwards, upwards .....

💚

[Zoe7]

The upside of WH being away is that you do have the heartspace (and space) for a time to be able to paint - the downside is definitely that you know the reality when he is back. I know I couldn't paint under those circumstsances, so I can only imagine how hard it is for you to find both the physical and heart/head space to be able to paint - especially using oils. Acrylics are easier - they dry quickly and the painting can be moved or stored for a time until I am able to get back to it. ...and I can't paint in 'chaos' - either in my head or in a room that is not tidy and organised - a bit OCD myself but more the environment has to be in the background (near to invisible) whilst the painting is prominent, therefore any mess or clutter takes my focus away from the painting - I'm sure you get exactly what I mean 

Having the heart motivation @Faith-and-Hope is certainly a great starting point to navigating your way towards a solution when WH gets back - as is your strength and resilience....

Here with you @Faith-and-Hope... to walk alongside or to hold your hand when needed...

Zoe

[Faith-and-Hope]

Okay .... sneak-peek .... cos it's gonna look nuthin like this when its finished .....

This colour mix is Raw Umber, Olive Green and Indigo ..... the variations in colour are an illusion of the light and paint strokes ..... not terribly exciting unless you're F&H .... lol .... 💜🌷

[Zoe7]

@Faith-and-Hope I have done the first pass at the background for my painting for my sister... here it is...

[Faith-and-Hope]

Wow @Zoe7 .... that is stunning .... ❣️

You must be so pleased with it ... 😊

[Zoe7]

It did turn out better than I expected @Faith-and-Hope It's amazing what being in the right 'headspace' one can achieve - think it took me just under an hour to do! Next step is to start with the fields of flowers - was going to start that tonight but too tired - hoping for a good night's sleep (really soon) so I can be up early to start again. How is your competition piece progressing (not surprised if it has stalled for the moment - you have had a lot on and to deal with over the last few days )