Lived Experience Forum

[LilMapleLeaf]

@JB7601 

Hi,

That sounds like a really rough situation to be in. I'm sorry for what you're going through. From what you have shared it sounds like you tried to do all the right things in the first place but it just didn't work. 

I think everyone else has said all the important things but I just wanted to add one thing. I would suggest before speaking with either woman, talk with a friend, someone you really trust to have your back and build up your support network so that when you have those tough conversations or stressful moments you have someone who is there for you to support you, help you stay safe and not feel alone.

I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do.

[JB7601]

@LilMapleLeaf 

‘Thanks for the advice, it is something I will definitely do. 

[JB7601]

Thanks @MayaBird07 ,

it good to hear the advice from someone who understands the situation. You’re correct in saying that I can’t control how my wife is going to react. She senses that there is something going on and keeps asking that I please just tell her but I’m really struggling to do that because I am afraid of the impact it will have on her. I could never be all in with her so I think you have have helped to clarify my thoughts and I am grateful for the support. 

[tyme]

Hope you continue to find the support you need @JB7601 . 

We appreciate you being so open and honest about what's been happening for you. It takes a lot of courage to be able to reach out.

We look forward to seeing you around on the forums!

[PeppyPatti]

Hey @JB7601 

Your story is almost exactly like mine, almost. I was so interested in your story.

Please allow me to stop jumping up and down feeling a bit free er from my guilt. I divorced my husband as soon as I could, I did the divorce online because I did not want him to feel hurt in anyway at all. 

My ex-husband is diagnosed schizophrenia and the last two years of our extremely caring marriage was hairy. I needed to leave, I didn't love him, I went back to see my therapist 

She just said the affair I started having is  is about a new chapter beginning  in your life - time for you to stop talking but action time. 

It was hard. I didn't want to cause him any angst. 

Because I have loving feeling toward him. 

I ensured he had a good support team. A church I connected with a year before. 

NDIS began. 

Good Doctors who all were aware of what was happening. 

So could you ensure she also has a support system behind her ? 

Her actions makes me feel she's being thoughtless and thinking a measure - from fear. 

Change is very hard. 

I visited my ex-husband for about 10 months every day telling him ide ever abandon him. We are best friends today, after 4 years.

My situation is different than yours.

Perhaps small threads of it may ring true for you. Not that I know anything.