Topic Tuesday // Caring for men who don't care about themselves // 27 June, 7pm AEST

[Former-Member]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, great to have you here with us tonight.

I can hear from everyone that the desire to want to help our loved ones becomes very challenging when it's not on their radar to take that step towards support and possible treatment. I hope tonight's discussion can help you all in some way. 

[Shaz51]

Ammmm @NikNik, that is tricky xx

I would say 3, 4, because he wants to , we talk about it and do planning but it all falls through with him making all sorts of excuses , hopes this makes sense @Former-Member

[JayAr]

That model is very helpful and No1 son is definitely at contemplation. Sometimes taking action, but its definitely not regular or consistent yet. Do we push, encourage or let him continue on his own?

[NikNik]

Makes sense @Shaz51 - sounds like he's drifting between the stages.

[Shaz51]

that is a good question @JayAr 

[NikNik]

Great question @JayAr
I think we have to consider our conversations as to what stage they are in. It looks like we have most people whose loved ones are around the 1-3 mark.

Pebbles is going to touch on conversation tips soon, so that might be helpful JayAr

Do any other members have thoughts on JayAr's question in the meantime?

[soul]

I think the guys get stuck at those early stages because they don't believe that their mental illness is as bad as it really is.

They don't see the effects it has on themselves and especially those around them.

[Former-Member]

That's a good point @JayAr it can be hard to know what to do and  when. I think it's important to remember that everyone's situation is unique however I wonder if looking at ways in which we can can help our loved ones when they are resistant could be helpful.

One of the best things we can do if we’re concerned about someone’s mental health is talk to them and encourage them to seek the support of mental health professionals. 

Starting this kind of discussion is not always easy, can anyone share their experience of what has been helpful or not helpful in starting such conversations?  

[Sissy88]

With @JayAr question I think it's always better to encourage people not to dwell or wallow in their problem as it feeds it and becomes worse. As parents we can only try our best, once they become adults it's harder to help. My parents both had personality disorders and as children we had to suffer them as adults it leads to dysfunctional behaviour and lack of communication which just adds to the problem and frustration 

[Maggs52]

My son just gets angry whenever I suggest he needs some help. He has friends who have tried to advise him that he needs rehab but ignores them as well.