I think that self care around an attempt can be problematic if one does not already have a plan in place and this is not often done until after the event. Knowing what we need to do can help us focus on the task.
When researching for 8 dimensions of wellness I and across a 2017 study on The Emotional Well-Being of Nurses and Nurse Leaders in Crisis which found that
I certainly found this to be the case for myself when my husband attempted. It was after the event when I fell into a heap; there was certainly an element of vicarious trauma. It was only after the dust had settled that I was able to work on my own healing.
After an attempt we often evaluate what is important to us, things take a back seat and the spotlight is on the person who attempted (and in one respect rightly so); however the mental health of all the family matters, it is a time when we grapple with unfamiliar and often uncomfortable emotions. The same strategies for recovery that are given to the person that attempted apply equally to ourselves and it is not in either self interest or in the interests of those we care for that we let ourselves go.
I often think that while setting goals can be productive they can also be counterproductive and only add to caregiver guilt. I found that committing to a small doable step gave me a sense of achievement and spurred me into taking on something more substantial. Routines are helpful as time is specifically allocated for self care making it easier to engage with it. I also have found that if I mention self care needs, Mr Darcy is quite amenable to seeing they happen.
@Former-Member, agreed as with @NatureLover Love the 8 dimensions of wellness. I will be sharing this across the community heaps more - what a great resource 🙂 Vicarious trauma is very real, which why I think this new resource of SANE's is quite solid. Anything available to lean on in the moment has to be helpful to a degree 
I can't believe it's already day 4 of our YANA Event Thread!
@NatureLover @Shaz51 @Former-Member @FindingStrength @Blackie Let's kick off today with our fourth discussion area around the new You Are Not Alone resource.
Sometimes it is scary to consider building a support network when the stigma around suicide is a very real issue. People may respond differently than they would to other health issues. There are many services that can support you through this if you don’t feel comfortable reaching out to your own personal community - such as GPs, community mental health teams and culturally specific mental health services. In addition to our forums, what are some other networks of support you have found helpful as a carer?
@Former-Member wrote:Sometimes it is scary to consider building a support network when the stigma around suicide is a very real issue.
In addition to our forums, what are some other networks of support you have found helpful as a carer?
From my lived experience perspective, I found the CATT team was a good resource, as they changed my medication from one anti-depressant to a stronger one capable of building up to a higher dose. That was the start of my recovery.
There are sometimes waiting lists for support services - I found that I had to wait 3 months to get in to see the psychiatrist that the hospital referred me to, at a time when I was intensely suicidal. That was really tough. But it was worth it, as she was an excellent psychiatrist who also did talk therapy, which is unusual for psychiatrists.
While I was waiting and didn't have a psychiatrist, my GP was a great support. I was seeing her weekly and she gave me a lot of extra time every session, and essentially saved my life many times during that time. I will never forget what she did for me.
