14th year house bound

[Jacques]

Hi My Angel,

I know you are going to be feeling alone, scared and disassociated, please Karen, if you need to talk i am right here, i will keep my phone and tablet near me all day, i will be reachable, i know you will be really struggling today.

Karen my thoughts are with you.

You are a strong woman, a loving mother, a caring friend, you deserve love, you deserve friendship, you deserve respect.

Be safe

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques still waiting for the phone call, I've convinced myself that they have forgotten about me. Well I can only hope.

I'm in the car by the river not doing a very good job of distracting myself.

Hope you are ok my friend

Karen

[Jacques]

Hi my angel,

OMG you do that too, i always do that when i have to do something, it is almost a wish or a will to make them forget.  Karen, remember i am always here for you.

Oh i bet the sound of the water is very soothing, i know how hard it is to distract, especially when you are not keeping occupied, how did you sleep last night? being sleep deprived makes things worse.

Karen i am ok, i have been waiting for your message, i hope you are managing to cope, i know how hard, frightening and detatched you are at the moment, just forus on minute-to-minute hour-to-hour.

Thinking of you my angel

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Not much sleep. 

Too worried how I to tell the girls if I have to go back to hospital.

I'm exhausted but every time I close my eyes I see bad things so I'm trying to stay awake.

I wish they would ring and get it over with.

Oh and I stil haven't heard from center link after I filled out all the paperwork again after they lost the last lot. 2 months later.

Is anything ever going to be ok?

[Jacques]

Oh you poor thing, it is so tough, i did not get much sleep either, i am going to try this afternoon, but will probably have a panic attack.

Well it is tough to tell the girls, i am not good with kids, so i would not know what to say.  I am sure in time they will understand.

Yes the anticipation sometimes becomes overwhelming in and of itself.  just focus on the here and now, try to let go of what might happen in the future, if it is a nice day maybe go for a walk or something.

Oh Karen i would write a book about centrelink, they do drag things out, if they do not become helpful in a timely manner, please go to your local member, explain your situation and they might be able to give them a move along.

Karen, you are going through a really rough patch at the moment, but thinks will improve, it may take a while, but once things are sorted you will be able to relax a bit.

[hiddenite]

Thanks j

I hope you manage to get some sleep my thoughts are with you

[Jacques]

Hi My angel,

Well i am sure you have got the phone call by now, i do hope you managed it ok, i can imagine how tough this all must be on you, my thoughts and prayers are with you, i do hope whatever your decision, it works out for the best.

I am here if you need to talk, or just have a friendly face to help calm down.

Be safe my angel, take care

Jacques

[Jacques]

hi my angel, i do hope things worked out today, i am here if you want to talk or just sit with me, that is ok too.

I am thinking of you my friend

Jacques

[hiddenite]

Hi Jacques I have to go into hospital on Thursday. I feel I'll. I don't know if I can do it.There's no win win if I get help then the girls suffer. I'm just not strong enough

[Jacques]

Oh Karen, i am so sorry, things seem to be really tough at the moment, i do hope you manage some rest when you get their, you are so tired, maybe a break will do you good.

I am going to be here to support you Karen, i will not leave you, i will write every day.

I am sure the girls understand you need some help, if you can get something out of your stay, it may help you be an even better mum than you are now.

Karen, i know it is tough, please stay strong, you can do this, i believe in you, i know your family struggles, but i do understand.

Karen, see if you can take some positives out of this, give yourself a little dream to hold onto for after your hospital stay.