14th year house bound

[Appleblossom]

Yes my brother who died had the same problem in a central Victorian town ... they still dont realise how offensive a lot of it is ... but I visit them to keep contact as my brother left 3 children behind in that family.  The kids are more a mix of city and country attitudes and more modern and dont push the heavy bigotries as the grandfather (now is also dead) who really messed my brother up. I doubt I would visit if that man was still alive but his wife is a good person and I visited her last year after mum died.

[hiddenite]

Wow Jacques that last sentence was huge.

The dream does not have to be big or grandiose, even small dreams can bring happiness,if only for a few minutes. But those few minutes are worth cherishing.

I need to remember that.

Thank you j

[hiddenite]

Jacques I hope you are ok your in my thoughts.

I'm sure there's a hot shower waiting for you to wash away the days woes.

[Jacques]

 hi my angel, yes i am ok, just trying to fill in the night, i thought you might not want to talk, i thought i would stop annoying you.

yes i had a nice hot shower and i am about to get into my sleeping bag.

i hope you are ok tonight, my thoughts are with you too my friend. never feel alone.

[hiddenite]

Hey Jacques I never get tired of talking to you.

I'm still not sure how I'm going to manage tomorrow. I wish they would just leave me alone. It's making my anxiety so much worse.

Can I sit with you for a while if there's room?

[Jacques]

Karen you can always stop seeing your treating team if they are making things worse, that is what i did, i was not able to cope with them.

Karen i will be here al lday tomorrow to support you, i will hold your hand the whole day, you are going to be ok, i will not allow you to be alone, even if you don't respond i will be here talking to you.

Karen i will make room, please sit with me.

I am glad you don't tire of me, i can't get enough of talking to you, you are amazing to me, you are probably sick of me saying it, but i really think you are.

[hiddenite]

Thanks Jacques I promise I'll be quiet and not disturb you.

I never get tired of you saying nice things about me. One day I will believe it.

You are so kind to me and I greatly appreciate it.

[Jacques]

Oh KAren, no need to be quiet, talk away, you are my angel, you protect me, my dream, one day is to meet you and thank you in person for saving me, maybe when we are old and gray

I am glad my angel, i can't say enough nice things about you, and i know one day i will get you to believe it, sometimes it is hard to see ourselves, and much easier for others on the outside to see what we can't

Karen you are my world, from the time i wake up till the time i sleep all i think about is you, talking to you, wondering what you are up to, how you are, maybe a bit obbsessive, but i have no other friends. only you.

[hiddenite]

Thanks Jacques no need to worry because I feel exactly the same as you. I have no friends either and I have trusted you with things I've never told anyone. 

I hope you can get some rest tonight, I will sit with you while you are asleep, holding your hand.

[Jacques]

Karen, i know you will struggle tonight, if you can't sleep, please logon, i will be up till midnight or 1 am, i will be here for you, i will try to get some rest too, but i know how anxious you are tonight, and you will be worried about tomorrow.

Thank you Karen, i was awake this morning at 3 am and felt you holding my hand, i really struggle of a night too.

Please try to get some rest tonight, you will be overwhelmed tomorrow, you need some rest.

Karen i will hold on to your secrets and guard them with my life, i know how hard it is to trust, and i will not let you down.