Dear @Alex32redden
I was part of an MBT group - metallisation based therapy. It is relatively new. I completed 18 months, twice a week. At first, I couldn't see the progress and wanted to give up because it was hard work, but I'm glad I stuck it out. At the end of the 18 months, there was an immense shift.
As for my chronic suicidal ideation, I'm sorry if mentioning it didn't help. I'd just like to clarify: if you look at the diagnostic criteria for BPD, self-harm and suicidal ideation is on the list. It is not because I am depressed. It just happens and I cannot explain why. I'll give you a bit of an example, if someone has an illness, but does not have any symptoms (and tests are negative), can you confidently say they have the illness? Don't get me wrong, many people with BPD do not have constant suicidal thoughts, but I do. I used to get depressed over it but now I just accept it because I know I'm not acting on it.
However, therapy and treatment has enabled me to cope with these thoughts so that I don't act on them.
And, dear @Alex32redden , I came from a very very good nuclear family. There was no abuse. There wasn't even swearing in the house. Yet I clearly have BPD.
I want you to know it is not a life-sentence. You are not 'doomed'. There are ways to deal with emotional dysregulation. DBT, ACT, MBT are all forms of treatment which work. But it takes commitment.
Hospital admissions etc. did not work for me. If anything, it was detrimental to my MH. I needed people to talk to. People who would listen to me. People who could show me there's a way out of this emotional torment. And this is what you've done. You have reached out to people who are willing to listen and show you there's a way out.
Persist @Alex32redden , it's totally worth it.
BPDSurvivor
