Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[NatureLover]

Hi @Zanylady , and welcome to this thread event and to the forums.

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@Zanylady wrote:
It’s not knowing what’s going to happen next that is really hard to cope with

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I can hear that this is hard. Have you suffered because of a loved one's suicide attempt?

[NatureLover]

@Smc  It really sounds as though there's a lot on your plate. No wonder you have 'carer burnout' - your trauma seems constant. 😞

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@Smc wrote:

Which all sounds bleak, but in the middle of it we still try to find the little achievements and little joys. That's one of the purposes of the garden. Even one square foot weeded and planted with some flowers or vegs is a result, and the return from the work put in is often disproportionately generous. It's a place where the focus is on life and abundance and purpose. I'm guessing from your forum tag that you probably get that. 🙂

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Yes, I get a lot of pleasure from green growing things. I'm glad your garden brings you joy. I like how you said "the focus is on life and abundance and purpose" - so true, and so healthy!

Have you accessed any support from Carers Australia?

[NatureLover]

@Shaz51  thanks to linking to your thread Carers Hints and tips to Success  🙂

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@Shaz51 wrote:

to adjust things in our lives to make it peaceful 

We have made the home emvironment somewhere where we can feel safe 

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I'm glad, this seems so important. 

[Zanylady]

For me it’s about threatening suicide and not being able to go on. It leaves me on edge most of the time.

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member warmed my heart to read of your great experience with the carer support worker from wellways, I have heard some of the support workers out there are quite incredible. I can imagine you miss your friend, so nice to sit in total comfort with someone and be completely raw, and emotionally safe about what is happening in our lives. Thank you for sharing with us

[NatureLover]

Good to have you here, @Appleblossom , thanks for sharing your insights. 

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@Appleblossom wrote:

I wonder about the discreteness issue. It is important. I was brought up not to let one hand know when the other gives. Life can become difficult if we are too discrete and erase ourselves. 

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I agree, I think there needs to be some balance.

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@Appleblossom wrote:

I have support services in place now, but it has been a long time coming.

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I'm glad to hear you have support there for you now. 🙂

[Former-Member]

@Smc Sad to hear how restrictive centrelink can be, and that vicarious trauma and burnout is not factored in. We have a way to go still in the evolution of the mental health sector and the acknowledgement of impact on those living with mental health challenges, as well as their carers and loved ones. I love that you look for small wins and joys in between it all, those compound and become big changes eventually. Also a huge fan of the garden encouragement across the board. Anything outdoors is top notch for the soul.

[NatureLover]

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@Zanylady wrote:
For me it’s about threatening suicide and not being able to go on. It leaves me on edge most of the time.

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Yes...it must be very tough to cope with. 😞

It's good you've joined the forums for some support, and to be among people who understand what you're going through.

What supports have you accessed for yourself, as carer? @Zanylady 

[Shaz51]

@Former-Member, @Smc 

we have had some upsetting events with centrelink that mr shaz does not want to go near the place again 

[Former-Member]

@Shaz51 Hearing you Shaz, it must be so hard thinking of him managing on his own for some time. So glad you found  each other, you care for him very much and it must be painful sometimes reflecting on that aloneness he woud have experienced. It's so hard when we can't have dialogues with the people in our lives because of their own world views. Your forum family is always here to hold that space for you And I hope for more sould to come into your life who offer that space too @Shaz51  🙂